1.   Buy one or two loose cigarettes from the guy who’s always smoking on the sidewalk outside your office?
2.   Order an item off the dollar menu at Taco Bell, and ask the person in line behind you to cover the sales tax?
3.   Round up five buddies who each have 99 cents of their own, head to your nearest Starbucks, choose the grande-sized drink of your choice and split it six ways?

All fine choices, certainly, but what if I told you that your pocket change could get something better than 3.33 ounces of iced skinny caramel macchiato?  Too good to be true, you say?  Well, under normal circumstances, it would be.  But we’re living in extraordinary times.  From now through September 25, you can grab a copy of The Prophet of Marathon for only 99 cents!  This is unsustainable,  Crazy Eddie-level shit, my friends.  Don’t miss out!

And if you’ve already read it, now’s the perfect opportunity to recommend it to a friend.  If they love it, they’ll be grateful.  If not, just remind them that they’re better off not having eaten that Beefy Fritos Burrito, anyhow.